• Lawyer: “Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?”
• Witness: “No.”
• Lawyer: “Did you check for blood pressure?”
• Witness: “No.”
• Lawyer: “Did you check for breathing?”
• Witness: “No.”
• Lawyer: “So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?”
• Witness: “No.”
• Lawyer: “How can you be so sure, Doctor?”
• Witness: “Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.”
• Lawyer: “But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?”
• Witness: “Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.”

• Lawyer: “How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?”

• Lawyer: “What happened then?”
• Witness: “He told me, he says, ‘I have to kill you because you can identify me.’”
• Lawyer: “Did he kill you?”
• Witness: “No.”

• Lawyer: “You were there until the time you left, is that true?”

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• Lawyer: “I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.”
• Witness: “That’s me.”
• Lawyer: “Were you present when that picture was taken?”

• Lawyer: “She had three children, right?”
• Witness: “Yes.”
• Lawyer: “How many were boys?”
• Witness: “None.”
• Lawyer: “Were there girls?”

• Lawyer: “What is your brother-in-law’s name?”
• Witness: “Borofkin.”
• Lawyer: “What’s his first name?”
• Witness: “I can’t remember.”
• Lawyer: “He’s been your brother-in-law for years, and you can’t remember his first name?”
• Witness: “No. I tell you, I’m too excited.” (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) “Nathan, for heaven’s sake, tell them your first name!”

• Lawyer: “And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?”
• Witness: “Oral.”
• Lawyer: “How old are you?”
• Witness: “Oral.”

• Lawyer: “Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?”
• Witness: “The victim lived.”